For eight and a half years, Rikki Jo Neyer watched her mother vanish into an illness that had no name. Her mother wore sunglasses inside the house because light had become unbearable. Eventually, she experienced what Neyer describes as catatonia that went unrecognized. Now, Neyer is telling that story in her debut book, Do You Believe In Miracles? Our Journey Out of Darkness and Into the Light, published by Lucid Books. The book is not just a memoir; it is a lifeline for anyone navigating the bewildering terrain of unexplained illness, caregiving, and faltering faith.
The significance of this release lies in its unflinching honesty. Neyer did not set out to become an author. "I set out to survive a season that felt impossible," she says. "For eight and a half years I watched my mother disappear into an illness no doctor could name, and I realized that if I did not write it down, the world might never know what she went through." Her mother could not always advocate for herself, so Neyer became her voice. In doing so, she stepped into a role familiar to millions of caregivers: loving someone fiercely while battling medical uncertainty, exhaustion, and the fear that no one else will fight as relentlessly as family.
What makes this book particularly important is its structure and its message. Neyer deliberately refuses to sanitize the years of darkness. "Most miracle stories begin with the miracle and work backward," she explains. "This one makes you live through every year of the darkness before you get there." That darkness ended when her mother received Ativan and woke from the catatonic state. Her mother later summarized the experience: "I did die. And God brought me back." For Neyer, the recovery did not erase the suffering but gave it purpose.
The book includes four interviews with key witnesses, a scientific summary of catatonia, Scripture, and appendices written specifically for caregivers and those struggling to keep going. These resources are grounded in Neyer's firsthand experience as her mother's primary advocate. "I hope caregivers feel seen in a way that nothing else has made them feel seen," she says. "I hope anyone who has ever loved someone through a darkness that has no name finds language for what they have been carrying." She also hopes the book encourages readers facing misdiagnosis or fighting to be believed by a medical system that keeps looking away.
Neyer's journey transformed her understanding of beauty, suffering, and faith. She came to see them not as opposites but as companions. She describes the writing process in three words: "Witness. Endure. Return." Perhaps most importantly, the book is published while Neyer and her mother can share the story together. Her mother is alive, participated in the book, and after eight and a half years that once seemed to have stolen so much, mother and daughter are making up for lost time.
Lucid Books, an independent hybrid publisher in the Houston area, released the book. As a partnership publisher, Lucid Books offers the connections and expertise of a traditional publisher with the author involvement of a self-publisher. For more information, visit lucidbookspublishing.com.
